*sigh* I suppose it was inevitable. I gave you two your big break and I thought you were my guys, but I have to let you go, don't I? You now belong to... Le Monde. So, how was it?
GARY: I dunno. Karlos said I'd mocked him. You don't really think I was mocking you, do you buddy?
KARLOS: No, you're just a bit of a self-absorbed git.
GARY: And you're kind of a mean girl -- in the best way, of course. That's why it works, right?
KARLOS: We're not girls, we just have bishy hair. You're confused.
GARY: You were right though, all that running and shooting, and shooting and running, what's the point?
KARLOS: Well... it's quite eldary. I guess some people care about that.
That's me, right? You're talking about me?
GARY: And that business about the eldar missile launcher. Turns out we can't shoot airplanes after all.
Yeah, I know, I messed up there.
GARY: Do you even fact-check these things before we go live?
What can I say, guys? I slipped. Sorry!
GARY: It undermines the whole scene! And you forgot to mention that Karlos also gets to choose a blaster or a shredder in there.
Well, to be fair, I was only thinking about big guns there. I mean, the shredder is only range 12"...
GARY: Range doesn't matter!
KARLOS: Whoa, I thought we just decided that range does matter!
GARY: So you're saying...
KARLOS: It kind of matters and it kind of doesn't.
GARY: What a guy, haha! My pal!
What about you, Karlos? It kind of sounded like you were reading from the prompter there...
KARLOS: Yeah, all those years of improv and they won't let you ad-lib. I got one in there, though.
GARY: The bit about the hooks, yeah. That was a good one! I fed him that line, you know.
KARLOS: You broke character, you git.
GARY: I had to do something! You were just going on and on about 'stars... stars...'; you sounded like that guy from Resident Evil.
KARLOS: Sure, what do you know about stars? Everything is stars these days. That's all that matters, is stars, woof stars, bike stars, scream stars, rock stars...
GARY: 'Staaars... staaars...'
Come on guys, don't fight; you're better than this.
KARLOS: Yeah, you're right. See you around, Agatha.
GARY: Watch out for the razorwings.
What? No, come on, guys, I said I was sorry. I -- eee! ow, ow! owie!
House of the Bitter Laugh, uniting the Kabal of Scorn, the Cult of Disdain, and the Coven of Jaded Atrocities