I feel ya, except from both sides of that coin.
My best friend and I play each other most. I can't beat his SM/DA basically regardless of which army I field (I'm 6-17-2 vs them). His Tau I'm 5-1 against.
So I keep losing to his SM, and his Tau keep losing to me.
It doesn't always make sense but there you go.
Yeah Iron Hands need to be focused down for sure. Last game vs this guy his Dread was hit by 3 blaster shots and still managed to be at full HP by last game turn until my Dark Artisan caught it in CC.
I dedicate these deaths to Odin Allfather, Spearshaker, One Eye.
Fleet Shadowmaker - Kabal of the Dying Sun; Cult of Marrow Excised; Coven of Lambent Hunger
Sons of the Last Breath - Chaos Space Marines
Host of Shattered Purity - Chaos Daemons