HomeDark Eldar WikiDark Eldar ResourcesNull CityFAQUsergroupsRegisterLog in

Share
 

 Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix

Go down 
AuthorMessage
Saintspirit
Court of Cruelty
Saintspirit

Posts : 1002
Join date : 2011-05-19
Location : Sweden

Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix Empty
PostSubject: Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix   Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix I_icon_minitimeFri May 20 2011, 12:36

Main facts
"We never saw them... Suddenly everyone dissappeared, one by one, or burst into flames... Dark flames... Those flames..! " - Last words of Junior Officer Darm, 34th Cadian regiment

The Dark Eldar of the Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix are renowned for being experts at horribly swift attacks, often to such a degree that their enemy barely notices them. Thus they have the last century risen in power and wealth. They commonly field several Razorwing Jetfighters in battle alongside their other swift attackers - they are even rumoured to field Scourges not hired, but belonging to the kabal. Their ruler is Archon Taro Nagae who long ago was a Dracon of the kabal, which was then known as the Kabal of the Abyssal Darkness. However, the former Archon - Taro's brother, Ramandhir Nagae - did what is seen as one of the most foul things to do for a Dark Eldar: he regreted his sins, and fled to an Eldar craftworld to be cleansed from his malice. Taro took his place as ruler fast as a serpent and changed the name to one defiling the symbol of what his foolish brother had became.

What is known about Taro is that he prefer to lead from the front, riding into the battle on a raider along with the other crafts, the screaming Scourges and the Reaver jetbikes. He holds a pistol of unknown origin which when fired upon an enemy immolates them with dark green flames, and a large blade glowing just as green.

Notable members of the Shadow Phoenix kabal
Taro Nagae - Archon - more fluff to be added!

"Brother? I have no brother. Such a fool like him couldn't possibly be my brother..." - Archon Taro Nagae

Tengu, Horror of the Skies - Right hand of the Archon
The Scourge named Tengu is by many believed to be the most feared and most skilled winged Dark Eldar of whole Commoragh and beyond. He was one of the first to surrender his body to the Haemonculi and he claims that he contests even the most skilled Swooping Hawk exarchs in flight. He has now been the right hand of the Archon of the Shadow Phoenix Kabal, Taro Nagae, since his rise of power. What is most notable of Tengu is the red mask he always wears, an arcane gift from the Haemonculi who made him into the avian man he is. Just as other Scourges he prefer firefights rather than close combat, however he won't hesitate to rip anyone who comes close apart with the fan he carries.


Last edited by Saintspirit on Mon Feb 11 2013, 10:44; edited 5 times in total
Back to top Go down
Xelkireth
In Exile
avatar

Posts : 1065
Join date : 2011-05-14

Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix Empty
PostSubject: Re: Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix   Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix I_icon_minitimeFri May 20 2011, 12:53

Interesting concept and you're off to a great start. If you need any tips, Google creative writing. You can find a plethora of advice on the web. Here's two for free.

Creative Writing 101: Kill the Cliché
Awesome General Tips from Daily Writing Tips

Shameless Plug: Index Xenos: Kabal of the Shadow Wraiths. My Index Xenos follows the IX articles from White Dwarf almost to a letter. It is by no means perfect. At least... no yet. Wink It contains one added section, "Homeworld," which is self-explanatory. Your Kabal either lives in Commorragh or is fleet based, lives somewhere else, or maybe even some mix of three. My paragraph count is plus or minus one paragraph in any given header and my word count is considerably less due to the fact that I'm not writing to inform about Dark Eldar, I'm writing to inform about my Kabal.

Hope that helps. If you need any advice or want to bounce ideas, feel free to PM me.
Back to top Go down
Saintspirit
Court of Cruelty
Saintspirit

Posts : 1002
Join date : 2011-05-19
Location : Sweden

Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix Empty
PostSubject: Re: Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix   Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix I_icon_minitimeFri May 20 2011, 13:02

Yes, this was written quite in a hurry, however I will of course add more later on, such as short stories and the like. They have their base in Commoragh but also holds an impressive fleet, so I suppose they are both.
Back to top Go down
Guest
Guest
avatar


Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix Empty
PostSubject: Re: Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix   Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix I_icon_minitimeFri May 20 2011, 22:10

I concur with Xelkireth, its a great concept you've got going!

I can't make any comments on the writing as my imagination is certainly lacking, (Hence choosing an existing Kabals background) but it took my interest and I'm looking forward to hearing more about them as your brief introduction and background makes them sound very interesting.

Just some thoughts going through my head (Disregard or Embrace them as you will tongue )

Is the Kabal aiming to track down Ramandhir Nagae for revenge? do they have a strong hatred for the specific Craftword that he joined? Similar to how the Last Hatred persecute against the Craftworld Kin as a whole.

I look forward to seeing you expand more in the future.
Back to top Go down
Saintspirit
Court of Cruelty
Saintspirit

Posts : 1002
Join date : 2011-05-19
Location : Sweden

Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix Empty
PostSubject: Re: Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix   Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix I_icon_minitimeSat May 21 2011, 09:14

Ariensis wrote:
I concur with Xelkireth, its a great concept you've got going!

I can't make any comments on the writing as my imagination is certainly lacking, (Hence choosing an existing Kabals background) but it took my interest and I'm looking forward to hearing more about them as your brief introduction and background makes them sound very interesting.

Just some thoughts going through my head (Disregard or Embrace them as you will tongue )
Well, thanks a lot! The fluff is actually based mainly on what I plan to have in the army plus the name, names can be a good place to start when writing backgrounds.

Ariensis wrote:
Is the Kabal aiming to track down Ramandhir Nagae for revenge? do they have a strong hatred for the specific Craftword that he joined? Similar to how the Last Hatred persecute against the Craftworld Kin as a whole.

I look forward to seeing you expand more in the future.
They are indeed... Though it is mainly that they want to see Ramandhir dead, Taro finds it shameful that his brother would repent. In fact, this fluff is connected to the fluff of my Eldar army. Their craftworld, Tonesh-Ian is where Ramandhir fled to, where he eventually proved to be an excellent tactician and in fact became Autarch, though he is watched with suspicion by some...

_________________
Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix - Background
Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix - Painting Blog
Modelled: 2753 pts
Painted: 2263pts

shamroll wrote:
Dang! I was hoping Tyranids followed the Pokemon naming idea. A big Carnifex running around just yelling "Carnifex! Carni-Carnifex!" followed by a squad of termagants all saying "Termagant" to each other.
Back to top Go down
Xelkireth
In Exile
avatar

Posts : 1065
Join date : 2011-05-14

Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix Empty
PostSubject: Re: Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix   Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix I_icon_minitimeSat May 21 2011, 09:26

Bom bom bom!

I really dislike the fact of repenting Dark Eldar. To me, that sounds like a Chaos marine seeking forgiveness.

My two slaves.
Back to top Go down
Saintspirit
Court of Cruelty
Saintspirit

Posts : 1002
Join date : 2011-05-19
Location : Sweden

Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix Empty
PostSubject: Re: Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix   Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix I_icon_minitimeSat May 21 2011, 09:34

@Xelkireth wrote:
Bom bom bom!

I really dislike the fact of repenting Dark Eldar. To me, that sounds like a Chaos marine seeking forgiveness.

My two slaves.
Just wondering - dislike, like in thinking it's shameful or like in thinking it is something Ward would come up with? Surprised

_________________
Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix - Background
Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix - Painting Blog
Modelled: 2753 pts
Painted: 2263pts

shamroll wrote:
Dang! I was hoping Tyranids followed the Pokemon naming idea. A big Carnifex running around just yelling "Carnifex! Carni-Carnifex!" followed by a squad of termagants all saying "Termagant" to each other.
Back to top Go down
Xelkireth
In Exile
avatar

Posts : 1065
Join date : 2011-05-14

Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix Empty
PostSubject: Re: Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix   Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix I_icon_minitimeSat May 21 2011, 09:38

Dislike. Phil Kelly did something similar in Path of the Warrior (I think that was the title). An repentant Dark Eldar becomes a Striking Scorpion under a vow of silence. I honestly was hoping he'd die a truly horrible death as soon as I figured out who and what he was.
Back to top Go down
Saintspirit
Court of Cruelty
Saintspirit

Posts : 1002
Join date : 2011-05-19
Location : Sweden

Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix Empty
PostSubject: Re: Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix   Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix I_icon_minitimeFri May 27 2011, 12:19

Just thought I should note that I added a list of notable members in the first post, which I will update as it goes on.

_________________
Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix - Background
Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix - Painting Blog
Modelled: 2753 pts
Painted: 2263pts

shamroll wrote:
Dang! I was hoping Tyranids followed the Pokemon naming idea. A big Carnifex running around just yelling "Carnifex! Carni-Carnifex!" followed by a squad of termagants all saying "Termagant" to each other.
Back to top Go down
Xelkireth
In Exile
avatar

Posts : 1065
Join date : 2011-05-14

Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix Empty
PostSubject: Re: Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix   Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix I_icon_minitimeFri May 27 2011, 20:00

I've got girlfriend errands to run... Oi. I'll look at this in more detail when I get back.
Back to top Go down
Todo13
Kabalite Warrior
Todo13

Posts : 196
Join date : 2011-05-19
Location : Canada

Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix Empty
PostSubject: Re: Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix   Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix I_icon_minitimeFri May 27 2011, 22:25

Awesome I like that you have special characters!
Back to top Go down
Xelkireth
In Exile
avatar

Posts : 1065
Join date : 2011-05-14

Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix Empty
PostSubject: Re: Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix   Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix I_icon_minitimeFri May 27 2011, 23:38

Tengu needs a named weapon. Something that sounds cool, but in reality is just a normal splinter cannon, heatlance, or whatever.
Back to top Go down
Spanna uv Komor-AAAGH!
Kabalite Warrior
Spanna uv Komor-AAAGH!

Posts : 134
Join date : 2011-05-28
Location : Near da skrap piles

Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix Empty
PostSubject: Re: Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix   Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix I_icon_minitimeSat May 28 2011, 05:13

@Xelkireth wrote:
Dislike. Phil Kelly did something similar in Path of the Warrior (I think that was the title). An repentant Dark Eldar becomes a Striking Scorpion under a vow of silence. I honestly was hoping he'd die a truly horrible death as soon as I figured out who and what he was.
To be fair, Eldar aren't born evil or good, even in Commoragh. The evil just tend to survive longer.

Curse your withered soul, Saintspirit! You stole the name I was going to give my Wych Cult! Actually, since Arhra is occasionally called the Shadow Phoenix, I guess I should thank you. Now what name would fit better: Poisoned Phoenix, Blackened Phoenix, Tainted Phoenix...
Back to top Go down
Saintspirit
Court of Cruelty
Saintspirit

Posts : 1002
Join date : 2011-05-19
Location : Sweden

Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix Empty
PostSubject: Re: Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix   Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix I_icon_minitimeSat May 28 2011, 09:05

@Xelkireth wrote:
Tengu needs a named weapon. Something that sounds cool, but in reality is just a normal splinter cannon, heatlance, or whatever.
He has, actually, it is only slightly mentioned here. It is the Tempest Fan, I have rules for it at the rules development forum. It is pretty much a triskele.

@Spanna uv Komor-AAAGH! wrote:
Curse your withered soul, Saintspirit! You stole the name I was going to give my Wych Cult! Actually, since Arhra is occasionally called the Shadow Phoenix, I guess I should thank you.
To be pedantic, his title is usually the Fallen Phoenix. But whatever. I plan to use Drazhar anyway, and you know who he is..?

_________________
Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix - Background
Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix - Painting Blog
Modelled: 2753 pts
Painted: 2263pts

shamroll wrote:
Dang! I was hoping Tyranids followed the Pokemon naming idea. A big Carnifex running around just yelling "Carnifex! Carni-Carnifex!" followed by a squad of termagants all saying "Termagant" to each other.
Back to top Go down
Saintspirit
Court of Cruelty
Saintspirit

Posts : 1002
Join date : 2011-05-19
Location : Sweden

Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix Empty
PostSubject: Re: Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix   Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix I_icon_minitimeMon May 30 2011, 09:07

"Indecent location, you say? Maybe. But the guards will get true training and that can serve as some entertainment." - Archon Taro Nagae

The stronghold of the Shadow Phoenix Kabal is known as Skyscorch Tower, a tower located apart from the masses of the Kabalite structures. The tower has the appearance of a single green spine, along with seven shorter spines on all sides of it, shooting up from the more foul districts of Commoragh, plagued by all manners of stalkers and rebels. Yet, it is presumed to be as tall as many of the more central towers, and just as well guarded. At its top a holographic engine generates the Kabal's emblem, a phoenix of dark green fire which appears to burn the sky.

It is below Skyscorch Tower where the Nest of the Defiled is located, a secret factory only a few know of. Here the fire weapons that the Shadow Phoenix Kabal frequently use are produced. They are incredibly secretive of their formulas and it is probably here some of the best taskmasters are employed.

_________________
Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix - Background
Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix - Painting Blog
Modelled: 2753 pts
Painted: 2263pts

shamroll wrote:
Dang! I was hoping Tyranids followed the Pokemon naming idea. A big Carnifex running around just yelling "Carnifex! Carni-Carnifex!" followed by a squad of termagants all saying "Termagant" to each other.
Back to top Go down
Sponsored content




Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix Empty
PostSubject: Re: Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix   Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix I_icon_minitime

Back to top Go down
 
Kabal of the Shadow Phoenix
Back to top 
Page 1 of 1

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
THE DARK CITY :: 

OTHER DRUKHARI DISCUSSION

 :: Kabals Of The Dark City
-
Jump to: