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 A Brief Reunion (A tale of a mother and her son)

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Angaurrith
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Join date : 2011-08-02
Location : Some dark corner of the Webway

PostSubject: A Brief Reunion (A tale of a mother and her son)   Mon Aug 08 2011, 06:25

First off, before you read any of this, this is fluff on my character. If you have not read the background of my kabal you can either at my blog (link on my profile) or in the Kabal of the Seventh Seal post under Kabals of the Dark City. Feel free to post feedback, as all (though mostly positive Razz) is appreciated.

Five dark figures walked down the black alleyways of Commorragh. Four Trueborn, equipped with their Kabalite Armour and Shardcarbines. In the center of them was a hooded figure who kept their face hidden. They entered a particualarly dark alley when the five stopped. Ahead of them was figure draped in a black robe. From under the hood shone two bright red eyes. He smiled as the group approached him, revealing himself to be Dras Scurath, one of the other Trueborn who left along with Angaurrith into the Webway.

"Greeting, milady." he said in an otherworldy voice. The hooded figure said nothing. One of her Trueborn spoke:
"My Lady wishes only to speak to the Dark Lord, and no one else. Take us to him."
Scurath laughed a dark laugh.
"My Lord does not allow visitors. He only allows those who find him on their own."
At this, the hooded figure spoke in a shrill and harsh tone.
"Bring me to him now, or I will send you to a realm of pain unimaginable by even Master Rakarth himself!"
Taken aback, Scurath answered coldly.
"As you wish."

The six traversed the Webway for quite some time before reaching a large spire, surrounded by a small city-state. The Scurath led the five up the spire to a large set of ornate double doors, guarded by two Incubi soldiers. The Trueborn stopped their advance.

"Only one of us may enter," he said, "you must be the one to go in. We will wait out here." The Trueborn looked at their leader, but she nodded, and stepped forward. The Incubi silently lowered their blades and allowed her to enter.

She entered the dark room. There were only three lights in the room: two torches by the door and a single purple flame on a desk directly in the center of the room. There was a faint glow from the outside that was shining into the chamber, showing the sillouette of a figure stadning at the window. Two Medusae stood, one on either side of the desk, silently guarding their master. Lady Malys took off her hood and spoke sofly.

"Angaurrith...is that you?" The figure jolted around, red eyes flashing in the shadows. A dark voice, vaugely familiar to her but also completely foreign responded from the darkness.
"Mother? Have you truely come here to speak to me?" The figure stepped forward. Their was a rustling sound as he stepped into the light, but from his shoulders up were still concealed by the shadow.
"Yes, my son! I have come to find you. I heard rumors of you forming a great Kabal in the dark corners of the Webway, and I wanted to see you again, my dear child. Step forward so I may see your face." She sensed the hesitation from him.
"Mother, I am not the same as you remember me. Many events have transpired and I have...changed...into something entirely different from our kin." She shook her head.
"I came to see my son, and I will not leave until I do. Do not make me force you, boy." He sighed.
"As you wish, mother." He stepped forward. Lady Malys could not help released the short gasp that she did upon seeing her son. He stood there, skin as black as an ecplise and eyes as red as fresh blood, with snow white hair hanging in a long, tangled mane. Sprouting from his back were two large, batlike wings. Malys shed a small tear.
"So, what I heard is true...you absorbed a Daemon."
"I have." he said dryly, "and I have more power now that I have. Look at me! I have been transformed! The powers of Khorne! I have gained so much power...so much strength. Almost enough to enact my revenge upon Vect. Malys shook her head.
"My son, as depraved as our kin have become, they have not allowed themselves to be decieved by the Runious Powers. What you have become...it is more unnatural than any creature the Haemonculi have crafted. You are a Daemon." He could hear the tinge of sadness in her tone.
"I knew you would not want to see me mother, not as I truely am. When Vect's corpse lies at my feet, and we rule the Dark City as mother and son, I shall reveal to you the full extent of my plans. Revenge is not my ultimate goal. Soon, our entire race shall be free from She Who Thirsts...I will use my power to save our people, and make us the greatest empire the galaxy has ever seen!" Malys looked deep into the sapphire eyes of her son. The ammount of hatred and darkness surpassed even her own.
"When that day comes, my son, I shall rejoice with you. Until then, stay safe, and beware Vect. He has eyes everywhere."

Malys left her son after that, returning to the Dark City. That was the last time that she saw Angaurrith.

Angaurrith sat in his chambers alone, staring out into his little empire. He could see his reflection in the glass, and he was disgusted at his appearance. He could hear the taunting laughter of the Daemon inside of him, but he pushed it away. Soon his plans will come to fruition, and the galaxy would weep to the doom song he would sing.

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Last edited by Angaurrith on Tue Aug 30 2011, 05:26; edited 1 time in total
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Spanna uv Komor-AAAGH!
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PostSubject: Re: A Brief Reunion (A tale of a mother and her son)   Sat Aug 27 2011, 03:01

I really like this story. The cold interaction on Malys's part communicates well just how much her encounter with the crystalline thing changed her. It is nice to see a lot of character development for her as well as your Archon. The fact that her Crystal Heart didn't affect her son is truly interesting and suggests more than a few things too.
This, however, really bothered me.
@Angaurrith wrote:
Ahead, standing like statues, were the Messengers of Murekhalir. Five Harlequins, shunned from even their strange society for pledging allegiance to She Who Thirsts.
I understand that this is your reason for including Harlequins in your army. I think it is a poor one. A Harlequin Solitaire is considered damned for merely playing Slaanesh in a performance, and you intend an entire troupe of them devoted to Slaanesh?

First of all, the Harlequins already have a God. They are the servants of Cegorach. Second, they guard(and can presumably read from) the Black Library. They already would know most of the enticements of the Chaos Gods, particularly Slaanesh, and have been described as the Eldar equivalent of the Inquisition. Chaos Eldar are pushing it already; you want Eldar specifically trained and educated in the service of another God to turn to the God that murdered their Empire? Third, the Harlequins are valued greatly by almost the entire Eldar species for any number of reasons. They would have but to ask, and almost any faction of Eldar would jump at the chance to get the Troupes in their debt. So your Archon that is unhappy with the downsides of daemon-possession? He'd be really eager to ask the other Harlequin Troupes what the Black Library says on the subject. At the very least, you don't describe him as having the power to protect the Messengers.

Now, I get why you would want to do this. The fighting style of the Harlequins sounds very reminiscent of how one would think Slaaneshi Demonettes fight and fusing the two would allow you to continue the running theme of Chaos in your Dark Eldar. But I don't think making them fallen Harlequins is the way to do it.

My suggestion? Make them Slaanesh-sworn Eldar who mimic the dress and culture of Harlequins as a mockery of the only God to escape theirs. Or, if you still want them to actually be Harlequins, add them into the same encounter that granted your Archon his powers. Perhaps the Bloodthirster was dueling a Keeper of Secrets in the Webway when the Harlequins decided to take their revenge on the servent of Slaanesh. Everything goes belly-side up Galrauch-style, and the commotion attracts Angaurrith's attention.

Sorry for going so heavy on the criticism, but I am kind of a fluff nut.

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Angaurrith
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PostSubject: Re: A Brief Reunion (A tale of a mother and her son)   Tue Aug 30 2011, 05:19

I understand where you are coming from actually. Due to a hurricane and having no power for several days, I sat back and thought about the fluff for my army. I am not longer including the Harlequins in it as of now, so I am going to edit them out of the fluff. Not sure yet what I will replace them with, but I will think about it.

Thank you much for the feedback though, and I am glad you enjoyed the story besides that one part ^.^

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Angaurrith
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PostSubject: Re: A Brief Reunion (A tale of a mother and her son)   Tue Aug 30 2011, 05:28

I edited the story a bit.

I took out the harlequins and put in the second in command of my forces, on of the Trueborn who escaped with my Archon (and whos picture is my avatar at the time), Dras Scurath.

He is a lesser Archon in my Kabal, favoring the Shadow Field, which goes along with his name which means "Shadow Walker".

Figured that would fix our problem here.

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Incubi Death
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PostSubject: Re: A Brief Reunion (A tale of a mother and her son)   Tue Aug 30 2011, 14:27

I really like your story and how you kind of slid Mayls in there. I also like how you made Angaurrith have his form changed and his skin black.
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Angaurrith
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PostSubject: Re: A Brief Reunion (A tale of a mother and her son)   Wed Aug 31 2011, 21:08

Thank you very much ^.^

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