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 Dark Olympiad: Redux

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Kabalite Warrior

Posts : 133
Join date : 2012-02-12

PostSubject: Dark Olympiad: Redux   Mon Jul 01 2013, 17:27

I really, really loved Thor's dark Olympiad when it was up and running and I was quite disappointed when things never took off into the next round. Not Thor's fault at all, I'm sure it took a lot of time not everyone has to spare. But yesterday I re-read it and remembered back when it ended I wrote the start of the next instalment, but never bothered to try start it up again. I was just wondering if anybody would be interested in that? If so I would write them all up, in the same original style of Thor O'Mighty and with the same rule set. If you never read the original dark Olympiad you missed out.( http://www.thedarkcity.net/t3695-dark-olympiad-lightweight-round-battles )

At any rate, here is what I would start off with & even if its not liked, its helping me clean up my computer.

Greetings fellows of the universe.

Your not even IN your universe

We aren't even in YOUR universe!

Yes we...




I loath you!

*in front of bickering* It is I, Por'el Sa'cea Leo'lan Jhin bringing the exciting news of the opening match of the mid weight category of the Dark Olympiad! With me is the Queen of Mean and the blooded buffoon? Wait...Is that really my line?

Finish it or it will be YOU in the arena

Kharn would watch, Kharn would! TAU BLOOD, TAU BLOOD!!!

Did you know it tastes of Whale?

I always thought of it as a carp-y taste with a more fatty texture.

Ahm...Lets take a look at the participants that made it into this round.

Cortez vs haemonculas

Inquisitor Coteaz
Equipment loadout: Master crafted Nemesis Daemon hammer, Artificer Armour, lots of other toys.
Total Cost: 100 Points
Notable Traits: Psyker, Creepy Bird.
Current Record: 1-0
Favourite Things: Emperor, Fire, The Fire of the Emperor, Birds.

Lacking the options for further improvement it will be hard for Cortez to advance further along and things will only get harder for the poor human. Still his good save will help.


I still cant believe this chump beat my Succubus!!! You should know I had to punish her very hard...

with whips?


and chains?


and skulls?


Why you gotta ruin my buzz lady!

Anyway if Cortez swings that hammer the Haemonculas has little to do for himself. And that armour save will keep himself safe from most things.

Dark Eldar aren't *most things.

Haemonculus ancient
equipment loadout: Huskblade, splinter pistol, hex rifle, shattershard
Total cost:145pts
Traits: Feel No Pain, has a really, really saggy scrotum
Current record: 1-0
Favourite things: Pain, instant deathing things, playing operation

Lets get our Succi some revenge!

She's your Succi, but I'd have one if you are offering, hur hur

not before ten thousand souls!


Well the haemon is certainly taking advantage of the point increase, out pointing Cortez by almost 50% as well as packing instant death from every battle phase! Genius!

You expected anything less?

And then he smash man with sword! I think its a he...

With that much sagging who could never tell?

Quite, the Huskblade will rip though Cortez's armour and be instant deathing all before the human can move that hammer! Thank god for that FAQ!

Your smashing the forth wall here.

Kharn like to smash!

Well only time will tell, see you at the arena! be on time!


If you finish that pun, I will finish you.

You'd Have to get me started first.


Good night.
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Lady Malys
She Who Must Be Obeyed

Posts : 1095
Join date : 2011-05-18

PostSubject: Re: Dark Olympiad: Redux   Tue Jul 02 2013, 18:45

Quote :
Your smashing the forth wall here.

Kharn like to smash!

I miss the Dark Olympiad too Very Happy Let's have more!


~ Aim to please, shoot to kill. ~
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Kabalite Warrior

Posts : 133
Join date : 2012-02-12

PostSubject: Re: Dark Olympiad: Redux   Fri Jul 05 2013, 15:55

As you command mistress!

I was hoping for it to work like Thor's did where people put bets on who would win, but I guess this time there isn't much of a match to it. Maybe I can draw more people in with rough humour and inappropriate innuendos, or at least I hope so! I will be 'Rolling the dice' Tomorrow and get writing from there.
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Lady Malys
She Who Must Be Obeyed

Posts : 1095
Join date : 2011-05-18

PostSubject: Re: Dark Olympiad: Redux   Fri Jul 05 2013, 19:51

I shall look forward to it! It was always an interesting match. Maybe Thor would collaborate on it with you? Very Happy The more the bloodier merrier!


~ Aim to please, shoot to kill. ~
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Kabalite Warrior

Posts : 133
Join date : 2012-02-12

PostSubject: Re: Dark Olympiad: Redux   Tue Jul 09 2013, 16:53

Sorry im a bit late, but I just came into a whole load of homework from school that had to be done ASAP, well it did. I forgot about it last 3 weeks ^-^

Greetings gentle beings!

It is I, Por'el Sa'cea Leo'lan Jhin, welcoming one and all to the first battle of the middle weight category!

Its bound to be great, its got 'Gory' in the name!

Erm...Kat-a, Kat-a-gory?? Category! Kharn Gets it!

Then lets not keep our audience waiting, and get to the best bit

I AM the best bit, fish face, don't forget

I prefer blood to boobies in all honesty

You prefer bunnies to boobies...We already know there's something wrong with you

But the ears!!!

On to the fight!

Haemonculus VS Inquisitor Cortez


The inquisitor seems to be raving that 'drugs are bad, Mkay?'.

Yet another reason they don't get invited to parties

I still likes the hammer

Here comes the Haemonculus, he looks different from before...

He has stapled him flaps back, he's on his best today

( Haemonculus rolls a 2 for Init, Cortez rolls a 4, Cortez Wins! )

Hur, the meat bag is slow as kittens!

Is that a thing?

Just...just don't Leo.

Turn 1- Long range

That winning hex rife is getting aimed, will this be it?

Hope so, I need another garden statue

Can I keep the eagle?

(Cortez twiddles his thumbs and pets bird, Haemonculus fires, 4 - HIT. 4- WOUND! Armour-3)

The artificer armour stops that shot dead

Shame, we could of turned it into real Artificer armour

That is horrible, are you running outa ideas or something?

Hey, my job isn't easy!

Turn 2. Middle range.

That krak grenade could be messy and I think we are in the splash zone

Its only a good fight if it can get me 'wet'


( Cortez throws grenade, 3- HIT, 6- WOUND, FnP-  4, 2 wounds left)

He sure felt that!

Hard to ignore a hole in your belly

god bless that toughness 4, DE hate being insta-deathed

Not just Dark eldar Sad

Oh, whats that? Is he checking his hair???

Hey, looks are important, always bring a mirror---

Hur, GAYYYY---

That can shatter you enemies into bloody chunks.

Kharn is listning!

(Shattershard hits, Can Cortez pass his toughness test? He needs a 3 or under....4! Cortez shatters!)

Oh, that's...that's



I think I going to throw up!

Well, on that glorious note we end our day of -


Do you have to say that every time?

I do, infact its in my contract

Oh, So it is...

Who fights next?

Illuminor Szeras Vs Warboss

Ha, Wobotic Wuss Vs WAAAAAGHBoss

Hm, that will go well!

oh, that was horrible. Oh are we done? Good night folks, next fight is -

We already done that leo

Thats my bit though...

Leo...just stop.
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