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 Some fluff I did for my Dark Eldar force

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Kabalite Warrior

Posts : 133
Join date : 2011-06-26
Location : Orange County, California

PostSubject: Some fluff I did for my Dark Eldar force   Sun Jun 26 2011, 22:52

Did it about a week ago to show I can indeed come up with fluff behind my list:

"Tonight is the third night...and I am alone.

The world of Kosovan VII was a agri-world of humanity's Imperium. It had been responsible for supplying half the sector's agricultural supplies for the past millennium. The planet's citizens took great pride in their hard work for their Emperor and their technological mastery of the otherwise harsh long nights caused by the planet's three moons of Vaellerion, Ixiodus, and Hommucus.

Yes, the citizens of Kosovan VII rejoiced in their construction of a technology providing for utmost conditions for their crop's growth on the planet - Providing irrigation, easy transportation of goods throughout the sector, and (arguably most taken with pride of all) an extent of control of the three moon's orbit's around the planet.

Yes, it was a planet that generally little felt the horrors of the galaxy's flames of war...And that all began to change...

True night hit the planet earlier in the week. The planet's many efficient space ports shut down by some arcane trickeries. Communication with the sector, the Astronomicon, and local planetary guards were lost to the sounds of static and screams over the Vox-tech. Screams not only of human terror but also of the atmosphere, renting twain from the searing of Emperor knows what sky monsters that plagued it.The people of Kosovan VII kept faith with their God-Emperor however, and began to hold up for a prolonged guerrilla war until the inevitable reinforcements would arrive. The sky was marked with blood, for the moon of Hommucus was...missing.

Last night saw the communities push together as they knew keeping the crops and their families livelihoods would be at stake, and it was all connected to the water. Teams of willing and able bodies led by the few remaining planetary guard men took to protect the lines of irrigation to key agriculture and the biggest settlements throughout the planet.

They weren't met in silence.

Dark suited shadows made a mockery of the teams, laughing and howling as the small teams met their demise in every which way they saw fit. They came from the skies, they stalked the shadows, they rose out of the depths...They were everywhere. Some lucky ones lived...Only a mockery of their former beings, missing eyes, legs, or arms...but alive and treated...Almost as though the enemy of the night wanted them alive...Weapons that didn't aim straight for the kill but trickled down the kiss of death...As though they wanted to savor the flavor for every lasting moment while it lasted. They retreated, losing faith not because knowing they and their families would not last long without water but because that night, the death of the moon of Ixiodus.

Tonight is the third night...

The night is filled with light...the light of our burning crops.
The night is filled with stench...the stench of our dead.
The night is filled with sound...the sound of laughter at our demise.

The night is now the darkest night, nothing left...Just me...I think they're gone...No wait...

The tears of Vaellerion are stretched across the sky...Many sleek shapes silhouetted against it's final flickers of light...I faintly hear some...laughter again...And the shapes begin to flicker out of existence.

Tonight is the third night...and I am alone."
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Posts : 11
Join date : 2012-07-28

PostSubject: Re: Some fluff I did for my Dark Eldar force   Sat Jul 28 2012, 04:54

Extremely well written you should write more. I hope to read more about your archon or characters
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Lord of the Chat

Posts : 3198
Join date : 2012-04-15
Location : Stuck in an air vent spying on plotters

PostSubject: Re: Some fluff I did for my Dark Eldar force   Sat Jul 28 2012, 10:28

You've done very well to get the feeling of despair and lonesomeness of the remaining survivor. Well done, it's descriptive and well thought out.
I particularly like the moons going missing.

The only thing that I did not like too much was the amount of ellipses, but then I suppose that's because it's a recording of speech so it makes it more realistic.
Maybe I'm just antisocial and don't like people. Razz

Good work.


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Lady Malys
She Who Must Be Obeyed

Posts : 1095
Join date : 2011-05-18

PostSubject: Re: Some fluff I did for my Dark Eldar force   Tue Jul 31 2012, 00:21

Very atmospheric! It was chilling to picture the moons disappearing one by one. You captured a very effective slow-building horror.


~ Aim to please, shoot to kill. ~
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