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Cavash
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PostSubject: Cavash's short stories.   Mon Jun 18 2012, 19:06

Green Night.


This is going to be short story about an Ork and some Dark Eldar raiding their world. This is my first attempt at anything 'Orky' and more shall follow soon, so I hope you enjoy it.


He didn’t know how many humans he’d stomped before, and it was doubtful that he could have even counted that high; but all Crogga wanted was to stomp more of those pink weaklings below his iron treads.

“Waaagh!” He shouted at the top of his voice, rallying his Boys to charge the Imperial Guard trenches. How foolish, he thought, that the pale humans would come into his jungle, a green jungle, and try to take it from them. It was funny, though, watching them squirm as he plucked them apart with his monstrous hands. He didn’t mind them being there, in truth, as even though they were weak they came in large numbers, and that made for a great fight.

“Choppy, choppy, choppy.” The chant made by his boys was soon drowned out by the panicked firing of the humans and their screams as their Choppas fell upon them, gouging at muscle, snapping tendons and shattering bones. For every single blow not a clean cut wound was made. Bayonets fought back but as the blood soaked into the jungle floor the feeble humans couldn’t hold their footing and lost all strength. For some reason that Boss Crogga didn’t understand the humans, when exerting extreme force, seemed to leak water from all over their bodies, making them smell bad. The foul scents angered the Boss, and with another mighty cry he charged into the trenches brandishing his axe to cut down the boys that had made it to the fight before him.

With a big toothy grin his Power Axe cut a Human from head to toe and ran through the cloud of blood to meet two bayonets that lunged deeply into his thighs. Perplexed, he looked down at the fools who wanted to fight him. Why had they challenged him? They were small and he was big. He wore the horns of an even bigger creature to show how tough he was and the big pole on his back made sure that all the Boys stayed in line. Why wouldn’t these runts?

Annoyed he swatted them like flies and laughed haughtily at the booming thud of their cracking ribs. After a momentary booting of their bodies he was satisfied that they wouldn’t get back up, so, feeling the tickle of Lasgun fire against his green skin he put his head down and charged.

His feet made the ground tremble and the trees shake in fear. Those who weren’t torn apart by his axe, his horns or his ferocious toothy maw were hacked to pieces by his Nobs. It was surely going to be a fun day.

He rose from the end of his run drenched in gore and entrails. His sharp horns had dragged some intestines along with them. They dangled like fin Orky streamers.

“Urgh! Wot’s dat?” He demanded, feeling a rough pain in his arm. He turned to check whether his prized axe was damaged but found that his army was lying on the floor beside him, his Axe daubed in rusty coloured mud. Anger filled his huge red eyes with a sparkle that his clan had come to dread.

He flew off into a berserk rage and ran down a turn in the trench, pursuing an oddly running man. He wasn’t like the other humans he’d stomped, and, for some reason, his ears were pointy too. Did he want to be an Ork?

Screams filled the air once more and he turned to find himself lost in the Trench complex. In all directions only terror rang out, awakening his most primal of instincts…


Kill everything!

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PostSubject: Re: Cavash's short stories.   Sun Jul 15 2012, 19:11

Almost finished the second part.

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PostSubject: Re: Cavash's short stories.   Wed Jul 18 2012, 05:08

Just a couple proofreading errors stuck out to me.

Your use of 'I' in the first sentence is really off since the rest of the text lacks a narrator. Also, the sentence where he's charging with his hons, someone is dying to something ferocious, but you left out what the thing was.

Cute read, I love Orks and Ork centered stories, interesting to see where this one goes.

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PostSubject: Re: Cavash's short stories.   Wed Jul 18 2012, 16:12

Thanks for pointing those out, Thorr. I shall edit them now. I really should start proofreading my stuff.

I always wanted to do a story about an Ork, and after reading the Ork story in 'Fear the Alien' I just felt compelled to finally do it.

Thanks again.

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PostSubject: Re: Cavash's short stories.   Wed Jul 18 2012, 23:41

This is nice!!!
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PostSubject: Re: Cavash's short stories.   Wed Jul 18 2012, 23:51

Thanks Zehra.

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PostSubject: Re: Cavash's short stories.   Thu Jul 19 2012, 07:43

Nice one! Smile

There is a great comic if you want to get an idea about Ork mentality/humour etc.

I would link it but my account isn't old enough. Just google: Deff Skwadron (there is an online version)
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PostSubject: Re: Cavash's short stories.   Thu Jul 19 2012, 12:24

Cheers, Muskilla. I'll take a look.

Edit:
That's awesome, especially dropping Squigs from a bomma. Very Happy

I just had a thought: seeing as this thread will be a series of short stories I would like to hear requests or suggestions for what you think would make a good story.
As not to ruin the tale for anybody else I would request that you send me a rough idea and a race that it can be done with and then I shall try to have it finished as quickly as possible.

It can be any race, Ork, Eldar, Tau, Mon-Keigh.

I will start this after I finish the current Ork story.

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PostSubject: Re: Cavash's short stories.   Sun Jul 22 2012, 23:06

Green Night: part II

Swinging his empty hand back and forth smashing indiscriminately at anybody within close proximity. The world shook in fear of his might and the trees quaked in awe. Lumbering from side to side, he punched one of his Boys in the jaw leaving a great indentation of his beastly knuckles in the poor Ork’s face.

As Boss Crogga turned about he noticed one of his Nobs taking a moment from cracking open a Human to laugh at the little Orks misfortune. He simply could not let that go unpunished! With a big yellow tooth filled snarl, Crogga raised his arm and threw himself towards the Nob.

For a moment before the Nob died, Crogga got the chance to capture a mental image of the long, sad frown on the Ork before his clenched fist broke out his teeth, causing his body to crumple into the ground.

Laughing, Crogga’s mood was raised. Why did he a right arm when his left arm was good at doing what he did best: croggin'!

“Chop ‘dem!” He ordered, running into the broken Imperial line as they attempted to flee.

“Boss, we is choppin’ ‘dem.” A Boy whimpered from behind as he attempted to keep up with the Boss’s pace.

“But is you choppin ‘dem enough?” He asked as his momentum sent a number of the humans hurtling
skyward, only to crash down with broken necks, mashed up organs and wounded limbs.

“Yes Boss.” The Boy caught up, just ahead of his mob.

“Oh no you ‘aint. Stop yer yappin’, or I’ll stop it for ya!” The low chortle of Crogga drove the mob forward, hurtling over logs and stampeding the blood bogged mud to chop up the remnants of the Imperial boys.

“Choppy choppy choppy choppy choppy choppy choppy!” His Boys chanted as the Boss picked up the last of the Humans by his ankles. His black trench coat dangled down behind him and with a grunt he attempted to kick free, but with no success. The Boys laughed as Crogga raised the human high, as to stare into his eyes.

Smiling, he blew the cap from the man’s head, causing him to wretch at the stench.

“Wot’s wrong? Lost yer hat?” The Mob broke out into rampant laughter at the disgraced Human.

“What is wrong, Xeno? Lost your heart?” The Commissar drew his Bolt Pistol and fired a single shot into the Boss’s chest, causing him to cry out and reel back from the pain. Managing to lift the Commissar higher, as he had been slumped on the ground while Crogga recovered, the Boss looked him in the face and managed
another, wider grin.

“Hehehe. Boys, get yer Dakka ready!” With that, he threw the human metres above his head and watched as the Mob took badly aimed shots at the Human. Ultimately, despite the Greenskins’ best efforts, he remained unscathed.

“Boys, get to da choppin’!”

Shouting in approval, the Boys swarmed around him, leaving him only enough time to hear the Boss shout:
“My Heart’s on ‘da other side, Hoomie!”

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PostSubject: Re: Cavash's short stories.   Sun Jul 22 2012, 23:07

Lol, 'my heart's on the other side'. Awesome!!!
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PostSubject: Re: Cavash's short stories.   Sun Jul 22 2012, 23:33

Thanks Zehra! If I'm feeling productive I should have the next, and final, part out later today.

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PostSubject: Re: Cavash's short stories.   Mon Jul 23 2012, 00:40

I'm still waiting for the True Kin to show up.

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PostSubject: Re: Cavash's short stories.   Mon Jul 23 2012, 00:56

Do not worry Thor!
I'm sure that they shall show up soon enough.

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PostSubject: Re: Cavash's short stories.   Mon Jul 23 2012, 05:43

Short, but appropriately orky. That was really good.

Wish there'd be more stories centered around orks, seems all they get is being blown up by everyone else as an antagonist and nothing else.

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PostSubject: Re: Cavash's short stories.   Mon Jul 23 2012, 07:14

Great stuff! Smile

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PostSubject: Re: Cavash's short stories.   Mon Jul 23 2012, 11:39

Thanks to you both.

There is another part to come in the tale of Boss Crogga. It was going to be the second part originally, but I got side tracked as I wanted him to fight his own boys. I shall alter the third part so it fits in and I should have it uploaded later today.

I also have the next two short stories planned (roughly) out. I need to think about the second a bit more, however.

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PostSubject: Re: Cavash's short stories.   Tue Jul 24 2012, 02:56

Quote :
“My Heart’s on ‘da other side, Hoomie!”

This brought a chuckle from even my dark heart. Twisted Evil You make excellent Orks. And you've promised us some Eldar soon, have you not? Very Happy

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PostSubject: Re: Cavash's short stories.   Tue Jul 24 2012, 13:45

Thanks, I'm glad my Orks are pleasing.

Eldar, Malys? Indeed I have. Very Happy
I'm still working on the story for it, though, as I've never writteen anything Craftworld related, other than their destruction! Twisted Evil

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PostSubject: Re: Cavash's short stories.   Tue Jul 24 2012, 23:49

Green Night Part III

The Boys had constructed a great banner for him, to make everyone know who was in charge. From the balcony beneath the great ramshackle toofy skull that was held aloft by looted scraps of Imperial tanks.
Mobs from all around, his own and the local jungle dwelling savages, had gathered to pay tribute to Crogga.

They had stayed out of the way while he got his paw on the best loot, and looked the other way while his Meks beat the smaller boys to get a hold of whatever they wanted. Within hours they had constructed him a slightly rusting, sharp edged mechanical arm that could crush another Ork’s head between a finger and a thumb.

Thousands stared up at him in awe at his strength. He conquered four Human worlds before, and sureley this would be the fifth?

Everywhere the Boys smashed their axes against the rough rocks that jutted up from the floor in a competition of loudness. In some places, when a new Ork came along and made a louder sound, fights broke out which were quickly settled when the Nobs ran in chuckling, their huge Choppa’s brandished. In moments limbs would be scattered and the screams would have fallen into the low chortles of their peers before normal noise making business resumed.

“I’s da Boss.” His roar shook the foundatins of his banner and riled up the Boys.

He felt at home here. He had smashed the place up well, the sky was filled with dust giving it a green hue and nobody had yet posed a real challenge; or at least those were his thoughts until his Boys started wailing.
“Wot’s da fuss about?” He turned to his right hand Ork and asked, disgruntled by his Boys’ behaviour.

“No clue, Boss.” The Nob grunted through under hanging teef that severely impaired his speech. “Could be mute- mute” he struggled, only able to finish after Boss Crogga slapped him with his huge green fingers “Mute-knee!”

“Mutiny, in my camp? I don’t tink so!” He snarled before vaulting from his balcony into the crowd. His first few hits sent the runts flying. His new arm was great for fighting, and he soon found himself in a green haze that had once been a Mob. His Nobs rushed excitedly in to help. This would be the best action they had seen for a while. The Nobs and their Boss against the entire clan. Together they made easy work of the cheaply armoured Orks and moved from the clearing into the thick swamp of the jungle. It was now he realised, while pursuing the weaklings, that the wails of his Boys were cries of treachery and betrayal, but the cries of pain and death.

The Nobs fired off into the thickets erratically, staving off whatever was out there.

“Quiet!”

They took no heed.

“Quiet!” He hit one over the head with his metallic arm like a child whacking a small carnival game creature into a hole. His head thumped down into his chest and the sound of the percussive force on his helmet rang in the Nob’s pointy green ears.

“You ‘ear that?” He asked, picking out a dim, high pitched drone.

“By Gork, what’s dat?”

“It’s Mork ya stoopid grot. Every Ork from mine to Ghazghkull’s lads knows dat Gork aint real.”

“ ‘e is, I’ve seen ‘im.”

“No you ain’t.” Another Nob butted in, pushing the Gork believer over and revelling in the laughs of his peers.
Growling, the floored Ork stood up and cut across the front chest plate of his aggressor, scratching away the paint in a flurry of sparks as metal met metal.

“You just broke my armour! You’ll pay for dis!”

“Lads!” Crogga raised his voice above the other, “There’ll be time for argooments later, dere’s a fight at hand!”

“Yeah, well I don’t see no fight!” The Gork believer shouted in disapproval, warranting a harsh glare from his Boss.

From the tree line, a curved, perfect metallic craft came flying. From either side protruded great blades, much sharper and much more precise than anything that Crogga had ever seen. Upon its back was mounted a single, helmeted rider.

In his tiny brain he tried to calculate where to jump to avoid being hit, and after much scrupulous, intense thought that made his brain genuinely feely like it was going to combust he finally concluded… ‘LEFT!’

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PostSubject: Re: Cavash's short stories.   Wed Jul 25 2012, 00:13

Even the religious schisms are Ork religious schisms Very Happy You really have captured their mindset well!

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PostSubject: Re: Cavash's short stories.   Wed Jul 25 2012, 00:34

Thank you very much!
I am glad to see that their religious fanaticism (or Orkanaticism) has come off well! Very Happy

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PostSubject: Re: Cavash's short stories.   Wed Jul 25 2012, 13:37

Green Night: part IV

The Gork loving Nob known as Ratta Tatta had not seen it coming. His body spiralled in one direction while his cranial cap spiralled off in another, propelled upwards by a pressurised squirt of ichor. His quick demise certainly brightened up Crogga’s day, even though he did have a face full of jungle mud.

One of the Nobs had shouted at the Jetbike in rage when it sped off, realising that three of his fingers were missing. With a discontented frown he picked the fingers up and brushed the dirt off on his tunic before placing them in a small leather pouch.

It was then that the Jetbike came back in for another pass. It opened fire, filling the back of one Nob with steaming translucent needles that dropped him to the floor with an anguished struggle. As it passed by the great blades that cut through the air sliced the finger deprived Nob in two.

“Wot’s ‘appening, Boss?” the one surviving Nob whimpered.

“It’s dem pointy eared gits!”

“But Boss, we’re pointy eared.”

“Not Orks, ya runt. Eldar!”

“Eldar, wot’s they doin’ ‘ere?” his fear disappeared quickly now, trusting fully in his Boss’ judgement.

“I dunno. We better smash ‘em good.”

“Hmm…” The Nob looked around into the darkness. Night had fallen and the fires of the Camp were miles away. Neither of them could remember, or see where the camp was. “Which way back home, Boss?”

“We ain’t goin’ home… er… wot’s your name?”

“Boss, I’s your right hand Ork. Don’t’s ya know my name?”

“Name, ya git!” Crogga’s anger shocked the Nob, quelling any thought of violence towards his leader.

“I’s Nazgakka.”

“We ain’t goin’ home, Nazdakka, we’s goin’ to find some pointy eared gits ta fight!”

“Err… why?”

“ ‘Cos I wants me a fight, dat’s why!” Laughing, he pushed Nazgakka over and looked into the trees.

Before Crogga could finish saying, “I tink dey went dis way.” The Jetbike had returned, shredding the foliage with Splinter fire.

Luckily, the venomous Splinters ricocheted off of the Boss’ armour, leaving him alive and strong enough to make contact with the bike.

His great mechanical arm came crashing down upon the canopy, forcing the nose into the ground. From here it began to flip, sending the rider hurtling through the air at an astounding speed into the dark of the jungle.

“Hahaha! Nazgakka, he’s over dere!” Running along, he dragged the Nob from the mud and forced him into chasing the Eldar. Roaring, he burst through the trees, limbs flailing as he cut everything in his path down.

“Where’d he go?” Crogga asked to nobody in particular while his red eyes scoured the ground near the tree trunks. He could have been anywhere by now, those Pointy eared gits were fast!

“Boss.” The Nob tugged at Crogga’s tunic.

“Wot!” flecks of yellow saliva splattered against Nazgakka’s face, making him pause to wipe them off onto his forearm.

Following that, he didn’t bother to speak but waved his axe over towards a small path that had been cut by the Humans in the area. Now, in the clearing where shadows had claimed, Crogga could see the legs of the Jetbike rider sprinting furiously away.

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PostSubject: Re: Cavash's short stories.   Wed Jul 25 2012, 14:08

This is an enjoyable tale and made me smile on several occasions! You appear to have some knack for writing Orks Smile

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PostSubject: Re: Cavash's short stories.   Wed Jul 25 2012, 14:29

Thanks, I'm glad that it's pleasing!
Very Happy
Writing Orks just comes so naturally, other than the forcing myself to spell incorrectly. If I do it by accident then it is a mistake, but forcing it is weird.

Anyway, there's only one (maybe two) more parts to go before I start my next story. Also, this was really fun to write and never had a dull point!

Luckily, I have my next three short stories planned, so you can expect to see a number of tales from different race's view points in the future.

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PostSubject: Re: Cavash's short stories.   Wed Jul 25 2012, 19:33

Green Night: part V

His laughs haunted the jungle as he chased the Eldar with Nazgakka following closely behind.

The swift Eldar easily navigated the thick vegetative growth, springing from fallen logs and flipping gracefully through the thorny bushes with a supernatural ease that bewildered the Orks. He could manage this, and he was injured!

How typical of those Pansy Boys to show off, even when running cowardly from a fight.

“Oi, git!” Crogga shouted, trying to gain the Eldar’s attention. “Come ‘ere! I only wants to play!”

To his surprise, the Eldar answered in Low Gothic, perfect other than his echoing alien voice and odd accent.
“Follow, beast, and we shall play the game of eternal torment.”

“Bah, such big words from such a runt! How do they all come out of your tiny head?” His insult was punctuated by the suck-up laugh of Nazgakka.

“Laugh all you want, Ork. Savour your last moments free from our gifts and cherish them. Maybe they will help you to keep hold of your sanity when I take you to our ‘playing field’.” In defiance, the Reaver pilot pivoted cracked four shots towards the rampant beasts before somersaulting off into the black veil.

“Where’d ‘e get to.” Nazgakka asked, disappointed.

“Shh…” Crogga raised a finger to his lips, demanding silence. He crouched and slowly crept his way over to the bushes that the Eldar had dived into. His attempts at stealth were terrible indeed. From beside him he had clumsily snapped a leaf covered twig from a tree and held it in front of his face in a poor attempt at camouflage; he also tip toed the best that he could, breaking sticks and falling over a couple of rocks on the way.

Finally he stopped and plunged his two great paws, as carefully as an Ork could, into the bush and made a small gap to peer through.

“Hello, Ork.”

A scantily clad, pale creature resembling a Human streetwalker lunged a blade towards the Ork. Luckily, it only cut his cheek as he tumbled back.

Now, he was sure, the good fighting would begin!


Five Wyches sprung from unseen corners, each brandishing a hooked net and a half metre blade of shimmering silver that made surgically sharp scalpels look as sharp as Nazgakka’s axe.

He quickly stood and felt the pain of one of the knives slicing deeply across the back of his thigh. He retaliated quickly, lashing out with a spin punch that the lithe gladiator nimbly avoided. Cackling, she cast her net, but with no luck. The hooks only managed to snare on the plates of his bionic arm, allowing him to disarm her and send his giant axe plummeting towards her floored body.

Unfortunately, she had rolled just in time to avoid it.

He couldn’t be having pesky Eldar fleeing, now, could he?

Allowing his primal instincts to take over his Orky prowess, he ran forwards and planted an iron boot into her chest, cracking ribs and crushing organs before she landed in a bush twenty metres away.

He was certainly happy with the result, but didn’t like the red fluid that had stained his boot. He’d have to get a grot to clean that off later.

Narrowing his eyes, he carefully picked his next opponent.

It was one of the three who had mobbed Nazgakka. They had brought him down to one knee with their nets, and things weren’t looking good for him.

‘Hang on,’ Crogga thought, ‘didn’t I count five?’

With that he felt a blade hook deeply beneath the tendon on his fleshy elbow. He couldn’t fight it. The hook had too much control and forced him to turn. There was the fifth Eldar.

The Wych pulled at the hook on the chain, and the Boss hopelessly fought back. In the end, Crogga dropped his axe and wrapped the chain around his wrist before clutching it in his vicelike Orky grip. He savoured the look of realisation on the pansy git’s face as he tore the chain from his hands.

The Eldar quickly let go as the chain swung around above head, whirling like a violent deadly vortex.

The Wych shifted position and rolled aside before springing forward at the right tim to be on the other side of the chain. He only planted four cuts before the Boss grabbed him in his robotic hand and started to lift him up. His hand pinned his arms down and prevented him from wriggling too much.

The smile on the Boss’ face was wiped off quickly when the Wych spat in his eye. To teach him a lesson, the Boss lifted him higher, into the destructive path of the chain. The links wrapped around his head with immense force, cracking the skull in multiple places and forcing his brain out of the gaps in a bloody mush that pleased Crogga so much to see.

Discarding the body like a child board of its doll, Crogga also unhooked the chain from his arm and stomped his way over to Nazgakka.

The Nob had fallen from grace. He was now floored, pinned down by a self constricting net that tightened whenever he struggled.

Smiling, the remaining Wyches turned to the Boss who was unarmed and al alone.
“You lot, let Naz out.”

“You are not in the position to be making demands, Ork. Now, come along. The Dark City awaits!” The trio cackled menacingly, brandishing their Shardnets and Impalers.

They didn’t wait for him to answer before striking. They were brutally cunning. They must have been servants of Gork to be so foolish!

Instantly two struck. One threw an electrifying net onto him, the hooks digging into his fleshy arm and dragging him down. He simply couldn’t fight it. All of his strength was rendered moot as his arm began to spasm and he was pulled over onto his side. The other, brandishing an Impaler, launched through the air and landed on his stomach. He then proceeded to thrust the Impaler into his thorax.

Crogga roared in disapproval and swatted the tiny Eldar Boy with his Morkish metal arm. The Impaler, still lodged in flesh, was dragged with him. The backward facing spines ripped muscle and tore out clusters of nerves and a trail of a long, sinuous organ that had him perplexed.

Now the third Wych came along and through the last Shardnet onto the Boss’ head, the pain overwhelming him until he finally lost consciousness.


In his net he dangled from the side of an elegant craft. He was too pained to talk or shout, and his ears were burnt by the agonised screams of his bound and beaten Boys who were being loaded onto great night clad ships.

Around stood the Dark Eldar in small groups, laughing and sharing tales of their conquest. Some whipped the slaves to drive them forward. They had taken everyone, Ork and Human.

“Greetings, beast.” An unholy voice of dread broke through the carnage to snatch his attention. “You and your rabble have caused my raid quite a bit of trouble. Don’t worry, their’s no need for penitence. You shall quickly earn me my wealth back.” Into his vision stepped a long legged woman with an outrageously pale face. Her black hair was pinned up in a simple topknot and the train of her long dress was sullied with the green fluids of his Boys.

Had she done this?

“Tell me, what do your Ork eyes see?” She stood silent for a moment to allow him to soak up reality. Nothing remained. Everything he had worked so hard to achieve had been burnt with no real resistance from his Waaagh!

It had taken him three days to take the southern continent of this Imperial world, and in less than a night she had stolen he entire population.

“Do you see the suffering of you kin? Do you see the domination of Ynneas Eldarith over all other? Do you see the futility of all that you have ever done?” Carefully, she crouched, meeting the Ork’s stare. The nets were hanging low as to knock the Orks from the ground, making the wires dig in more than usual.

“This is how all things will end, savage. The civilised will prosper while your kind shall… well… I’ll let you find out for yourself.”

Her maniacal laugh cut through the night and pierced his brain, causing enough pain and dread to cause him to finally give up and go to sleep.


It really was a good fight!


I must say this: Green Night was one of the most enjoyable things that I have ever wrote and I may, in future, write some more about Boss Crogga, before and after his encounter with the Dark Eldar.

I hope you have enjoyed it!

_________________



Last edited by Cavash on Fri Aug 24 2012, 19:11; edited 1 time in total
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